Personal Journey: Using the Buddy System

Knowledge and Spirituality have been my driving force for as long as I can remember. Making the choice to live my life as a “Spirit Led” individual in my teenage years, much of my personal journey has been a solo endeavor. Apparently not many 14 year old girls are eager to devote their existence to “Whatever God wants me to do…” and then tenaciously tackle personal/spiritual development for the next 20 some years, to become a “worthy vessel”. Who knew?

Pro tip: I was always a worthy vessel… you’re a worthy vessel. We’re all worthy vessels, just as we are. Calm down, kid (me).

Much of that feeling of “Not good enough yet” or “try harder, do better” came from being brought up in the Christian Church. Spirit had never lead me to actually READ the Bible… how could I do “His Work” if I couldn’t assault people with my perfect Scriptural recall?! I condemned myself for not being “Christian enough”.

Add to that my ability to feel people’s energy, receiving what I could only describe as premonition style communications and showing signs of other “natural” abilities that were generally frowned upon in the church and classified as being “Of the Devil”. Yikes. “Why would you create me this way, when I just want to do your Will?… I just want to be good.” More self condemnation and a quiet, shameful sweeping under the rug of my birthright.

This confusion continued for years… decades. My relationship to God and Spirit has always been beautiful and loving and very organic. I went to church because I was raised with the belief that I HAD to. Not because He asked me to. I eventually got weary of the condemnation I was feeling from every source EXCEPT Him and left the church completely.

I continued my personal growth outside of Christianity, though always anchored in Spirit. He lead me back to church after 8 years away. This is when I met Austin. Spirit was pretty clear that this guy knew things that I needed learn. That was 5 years ago, and holy crap. *Mind Blown*

In my years away from the church, and largely under Austin’s mentor-ship … I found a “permission” to explore my true divinity. My actual identity. Shit got weird, folks.

Remaining led by Spirit – as that is such a beloved part of who I choose to be – we explored life, beliefs, metaphysics, creation, and identity together.

Spending those years in Austin’s basement (as a study group…), with Matt and Jen, and eventually Tico and Tina – was the most powerfully transformative season in my Spiritual life. Ever. So, shout out to that guy. Thanks Austin, truly.

I was around for the conception and genesis of The Epoch, but life and Spirit lead me elsewhere for the past year or so. Reconnecting with this group, and settling back into a role within The Epoch, feels similar to coming home.

I look forward to representing healthy conversations within a group of people with differing opinions on a wide range of topics. There is so much vitriol thrown around these days if someone believes something different from another – I’m excited to be an example of love, grace, and acceptance.
This is also a very Spirit-led project for me, so we’ll see where He takes this!

Coming from the church and diving headlong into more “New Age” or “Natural” concepts and beliefs, I also hope to plant seeds of self-acceptance and release from condemnation that others may be feeling on their own paths – along with providing a unique perspective on our weekly topics.

Collaborating with these individuals to explore and share our journeys with each other and the world is an exciting opportunity. Being surrounded by people who are equally as passionate about growth and learning – my personal journey finally feels much less like a solo endeavor – Plus, I just like them. Win/win. So here’s to some good conversation with good people, and the potential to motivate our listeners to continue on their own learning journeys… Leourneys? Jearning? Nope. We’ll stick with Learning Journeys.

Shit’s gonna get even weirder!

the Epoch Podcast - a buddy system of sorts
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